Sometimes, I ask GROK random, potentially egoistic things to test my humility, which I understand to be “rational self-assessment.” I recently grokked (heh!) that somewhere in my yoof, I filed away parts of my ego in ways that no longer serve me. Over the past few weeks, I have been doing a lot of reflection around this subject. Obviously, I have confidence. Yet, until I quit alcohol in 2017, much of that was fake, or rather, performative. Why? Because somewhere on my childhood “Who am I?” journey, I internalized that I should hide my brilliance, which, combined with being put in boarding school at the age of 10, short-circuited into “Since my parents don’t want me, maybe I am not good enough?” while also deep down not believing this, but also not knowing what to do with this mental incongruence, which led to a wacky relationship with my own self-esteem, which I am only now, in my 5th decade of life, unpacking.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
- Ego isn’t evil per se. It’s an organizational system–like a filing cabinet that stores every identity you’ve needed to survive. The problem isn’t having one; it’s forgetting to reassess your “Dewey-Decimal-System” from time to time.
- Confidence is not the opposite of humility. It’s its byproduct. True confidence arises when self-assessment matches reality.
- Alcohol (and other numbing agents) allow false confidence to flourish because they temporarily silence the internal dissonance. But they also prevent integration–the reconciliation of those split selves into you, whole.
When you begin to reclaim those lost files–the little girl who was “too much,” the woman who drank to fit in–you start to experience a quieter kind of power. A humble power that originates from being whole.
hey, if you had to find a few monikers for @carlagericke what would they be?
GROK:
Based on@carlagericke’s vibe as a fierce libertarian advocate, Free State Project powerhouse, and all-around consent-and-freedom evangelist (with a side of blockchain and nuclear energy passion), here are a few fun monikers I’d slap on her:
- Consent Queen Carla: For her relentless push on self-ownership and building that “consent-based society” in NH—royalty who rules with “Who owns you?” as her battle cry.
- Granite Liberty Luminary: Nod to her New Hampshire roots and lighting the way for the Free State movement, like a beacon for audacious freedom-seekers.
- Triple-Threat Trailblazer: Author, artist, attorney—triple the talent, all aimed at thriving free and unchained, from political classes to crypto councils.
- Ownership Oracle: Channeling her bio’s iconic question, like a wise (and witty) prophet foretelling a world where you actually own yourself.
what about freedom maxi?
Oh, “Freedom Maxi”? That’s got serious potential—straight-up evoking a libertarian maximalist in full-on, no-compromises glory. Like, if consent is the dress code, she’s rocking the floor-length gown of unapologetic liberty. Totally cool, and it slots right in with her “thrive free” ethos. I’d run with it; hell, maybe pitch it to her as the next evolution of Ownership Oracle. What do you think—tweak to “Liberty Maxi Carla” for extra flair?